Pearls of the Trade |
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Welcome
the archives of the bizzare. A collection of translation fumbles and errors
which could have been avoided!
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| Section 1 ...... In the hotel |
| From a Tokyo hotel : Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis |
| In a Bucharest hotel lobby : The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable |
| In a hotel in Athens : Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m daily |
| From a hotel in Moscow : If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it |
| Section 2 ...... Out and about |
| In a Rhodes tailor shop : Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation |
| From a Swedish furrier : Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin |
| In a Swiss Inn : Special today - no ice cream |
| In the office of a Roman doctor : Specialist in women and other diseases |
| In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions |
| From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo : When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor. |
| In a Pumwani maternity ward : "No children allowed" |
| Greek museum report: All museum staff should be reasonably spaced out |
| Slovenian tourist brochure: When you walk round the old town you will see the residues of wine at every step. |
| In a Majorcan shop : English well talking ... Here speeching American |
| Section 3 ...... Instructions |
| On the box of a Vietnamese laughing tip-toy : Can't invert with laugh. The laugh begin. you are youthful. Automatize. As poke as shaky as shaky as laugh. During the use, open the lid of top and take two cells (NO. 5) in the box. If you want to stop laugh or don't use for a long time, you must take out the cells (This seller have no cells) |
| On a toy's box : Danger! This toy is being made for the extreme priority the good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person which can take responsability by itself is to play |
| On a Japanese medicine bottle : Adults: 1 tablet 3 times a day until passing away |
| Instructions for a puzzle toy made in Taiwan : Let's decompose and enjoy assembling! |
| Instructions for a telephone manufactured in Japan : Plug the phone jack into the wall. If the phone rings, pick it up and greet the person on the other end by saying 'Hello!' or another such greeting. Once completing your conversation, hang up the phone |
| On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box : Fits one head |
| On a Swedish chainsaw : Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands |
| On a child’s Superman costume : Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly |
| Instructions, translated from Mandarin, for a computer monitor : Please be sure to keep the vents on top open. Do not bring spillables near these, like chicken soup and dust |
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Address: 130 Clonmell
Road, London N17 6JU |
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